Leaving it up to God (I think!)

[Coly23]

Oh Ciluzen I am so grateful you posted to me, thank you, thank you! But I am sorry that you are having a tough day too. It really suc£s that these days can just creep up on us from nowhere. Usually FB doesn't really affect me although I always feel very envious of others with families but today, I don't know I just got to me.

I feel so hopeless today and I keep thinking that I should be stronger by now but I'm just not. I am so afraid of the future. I don't want to have another failed marriage. I feel like such a failure. The only good thing in my life at the moment is my D and I feel I have failed her by not being able to give her a father, step father or brother/sister. I feel so much guilt that I have let her down.

I've not head from H for two weeks now ever since I said I didn't think I could do the two nights a week when he was coming over. I just feel so hurt that he can't be bothered to find out how I am even. I thought I was doing well because I wasn't spinning as much as when he was coming around but I think I am in withdrawal.

I know the best thing to do is to leave them but like you I miss my H so much it physically hurts. I am making plans without him but I can't stop the hurt.

Tomorrow will be a better day. Hugs to you (((ciluzen))).