Wife left two days before our anniversary! Part 2

[jbroken]

Jbroken, I have recently opened up to my cousin who just a few years back was left by her husband. no warning signs, just one day "I don't love you anymore" and gone. 2 kids together, the whole shot.

Looking back, there were warning signs that the W was contemplating D from the beginning of 2016. By chance I saw a few messages pop up on her phone from friends along the lines of 'did you mention D' 'what was his reaction', etc. When I mentioned it it to her, she was like 'it's not our D they were talking about...' This was with a smile on her face. I was so confident that would never happen that even wrote down on a post-it that I would give her one no questions asked-dated and signed. This was minutes before I took her out for her birthday surprise that I planned for her. Literally minutes. We did have a difficult six months up until June/July when we had friends staying with us - focus diverted on that. Once her mother came down in August - that's when I first got a sense of something is not right. She (or her mother) removed all the silver from the home and 'put it in storage to make space'. I still didn't read much into that. A couple of months of distance and little communication and then the first BD - which I talked down to a three month separation

she gave me some really good advice, she told me she literally took each day one hour at a time. she would tell herself..."okay, I just need to get through this next hour.." and so on. she said that it helps, tremendously. She is married again, and more happy than she was with her first husband. I have taken a few steps back today, as my brain wants to go back to that place of pain, upset, anger and fear. I know it's part of the process and I know that you too will have more bad than good days ahead, but like everyone has been telling us....it will get better. I am always here for you, we are both kind of in the same stages of this life situation and it helps to lean on one another, even if it is through a computer screen. I know this forum has helped me cope more so than if I never found it. try to see the life lessons you are learning from this experience- so far mine have been eye opening. a definite growing season for me. it's unfortunate that I have to possibly lose the love of my life and everything we have built together to have the lessons, but, it is what it is.

That's essentially what I am trying to do. Take things literally by the hour. It is excruciating. This forum and you all are the only ones there for me. I really don't know what I would do without you all. I'm definitely learning my lessons and will change and grow from this. I just wish I get the chance to put it all towards this M and the love of my life. That's what I can't get over - how my W is willing to walk away from the love of her life, give up on me, give up on us. It just doesn't register for me.