Status Unknown

[Matrix]

I validated again, and explained that "I had some realizations and that I had come to grips with some things. She asked "like what". I replied that I am here and love her, but that nothing I say or do will change her mind about staying or going, that's on her. That I wasn't going to force it any more, and that she knows what I want, but I can only control me." She says that "I shut her out" and she feels like "you don't want me." I validated, yet again, and told her that "i want you, but I don't NEED you. I will be fine whether you stay or go."

Sandi posted something the other day about making sure that we don't sound too "robotic" or like we are reading from a book. The above quote sounds a little "robotic" or "booky". Have you talked like this to her in the past? Is this your normal way of putting things bluntly to her?

I certainly think what you said was in perfect DB form. I just want to make sure that when you respond or speak to your wife, that you don't come off rehearsed. I think you are handling yourself well, but something spooked her off. It seems like she was poking her head out of her mouse hole and for whatever reason, she withdrew.

Go back and dissect your interaction with her. Try and figure out at what point she pulled back and why. Was it your body language? Was it your tone? Figure it out and maybe alter that the next time. It seems as though she is trying to peek out of her castle and for some reason ,she is getting spooked.