Last night we hung out as family, and everything was light. No R talk, although a couple of times she asked "What's on your mind?", and I am not sure if this was temp checking to see if I was willing to break down, or if she was generally concerned. I wanted to explode with "What's on my mind? What do you think? I am sitting here trying to figure out my life and future with or without you!!!!" However, rather than do that, I simply replied "I'm great". Seemed to be met with a suspicious indifference on her part. I have been happy and upbeat with W and S at all times, and more than anything, this truly helps me feel better. At times it is forced, but getting in the habit of appreciating my life, regardless of what it looks like at the moment, really helps.
I love roller coasters, but per the Vets amazing advice, I am getting off her emotional one. I love her, and tell her that, and let her know I'm here when/if she is ready, but I'm not going to let her emotions dictate mine anymore. I've had enough of that.
Keep up the fight everyone. That is one thing everyone on this board has in common, we are all fighters.
Me-35, W-31 T: 12 M: 11 S5 BD: 11/2016, Wants Divorce Divorce off table 1/17 EA (11/2016)/PA (3/17)confirmed Status Unknown as of 3/29/17
