Slowly losing my wife (4)

[ForGump]

Lex, glad you're taking steps to get professional help on this. And yes, even if your W is not ready/willing to go, getting their advice is a good first step. Also, don't underestimate the emotional stress on yourself, and your own psychological health. You may not be having delusions, but you could benefit from counseling as well. Lots of provider/fix-it types like you and me have co-dependency issues.

Your W most likely won't seek professional help until/unless she hits rock bottom. It's nearly impossible for that to happen as long as provider/fix-it partners are there to make sure they are clothed, fed, and housed, and help them deal with all their problems. It feels like a catch-22 to me.