It is very normal to see yourself through their eyes. It's haunting. BUT you have to remember, she is human too, she has faults, she is just choosing to highlight yours as to make you FEEL like you are the culprit. When H dropped the bomb two weeks ago, he named off everything that I had done to cause his lack of feeling toward me anymore- they all hurt, like knives, only because I knew I was guilty for most of them. however; some of the things he listed were reactions to what HE wasn't providing me as a husband. My love tank has been empty for a very, very long time, one would think your spouse would act out if that were the case. maybe nagging? maybe short temper?? yeah, I did all those things, and more. but all he wants to do is put the blame on me to make himself feel justified in his actions.
you have to get past that, Jbroken. I maybe wasn't the best wife to him all the time - but I am one darn amazing, loving, caring person that would do anything for anybody. I'm loyal, I'm trustworthy, I treated my husband like he was the only man in the world. but because he was negligent to provide what I needed in our relationship, the ugly side came out more and more and caused him to check out. again, not all my fault. not all your fault. It takes two.
