As for your eew (see, I told you the autocorrect spells exw as eew), this to me seems like a touch and go. I'd refer to Cali for a definite on that, but it sure seems like she's monitoring you, and knows you're moving on, so she pops out of her tunnel a bit to stir things up. The key to me is the slip about FB. She's watching from a distance. These MLCers want control because they know they are internally out of control. I think that's what the touch and go's are all about. Again, I'm not condoning her behavior by any means, but I am saying that awareness of this can help you the next time she pops out.
As far as the T-n-G ... I do not even think its on that level. Reading along .. yes Irish I am still up to date with your sitch though I seldom post anymore... its just a series of Temp Checks at this point and looking at the emails through my MLC-Mindreading Glasses I would lean more towards the fact she definitely is terrified of rejection which is not uncommon with the MLCrs especially given her sitch basically abandoning the 2 daughters as she did and being faced with the social stigma that comes with that ie. "What kind of mother would ..."
My labrador ears perked up with the last comment she made:
"it's your move. i love you lots."
This is simply her validating herself, its a "I have reached out and done all I can the ball is clearly in their court if they want to have me in their life its on them" which is a cop-out at best .... this line alone shows where she is in her journey. She has a good amount of work to do ... but she does appear to at the least be poking out a touch. Hard to say once faced with the amount of work it would take to open up a relationship with the daughters may make her shoot back into the tunnel for a bit or possible be the driving force to make her take a good hard look in the mirror and start the process of digging out. This was the case with my MLCr, she realized that all the damage done was not going to magically disappear and it very well appeared easier to run back into the tunnel vs rolling up the sleeves and doing the work.
Irish I think you have handled this all extremely well ... with grace and not allowing your boundaries to be crossed ... keeping the relationship between your girls and their mother just that .. between them is paramount and you have done this flawlessly where it would be so easy to see someone want to protect them from her at all costs you have raised to smart kids who can handle themselves which is a direct testament to the father they have.
