thanks for the note....one thing I want to mention is that my W does not want to give up the OM...she wants to be with him because he makes her very happy.
she has said she has cut of all contact...but she still wants to be with him over me.
Sorry to hear that. As crazy as it sounds, if you truly do love your W and want things to work, then start by letting her go. Keep the focus on yourself and your son.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
As crazy as it sounds, if you truly do love your W and want things to work, then start by letting her go. Keep the focus on yourself and your son.
Remember the butterfly analogy?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
thanks for the note....one thing I want to mention is that my W does not want to give up the OM...she wants to be with him because he makes her very happy.
Of course he makes her happy. It is because he is filling a void that has been in her life for a long time. It isn't realistically sustainable.
The changes you are making are for YOU. When your changes are consistent and genuine over the course of time, they become believable. Simultaneously taking the pursuing and pressure off your W. She might eventually become curious. Be the best G possible.
Originally Posted By: AllHope
she has said she has cut of all contact...but she still wants to be with him over me.
I'd suggest to be cautious in believing anything she says or does. She most likely doesn't feel obligated to being honest with you.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Ya, I have stopped asking because like u said, not much I can do. She still says she is not happy with me and is pissed that It took this long for me to realize she is a good person and deserves better
I hope over time she will change her feeljngs and attitude towards me and actually start putting effort into fixing our marriage....right now she is not there but says we are great friends.
That is completely up to you. When you no longer wonder if/when you should quit trying, is when your sitch has the biggest possibility to shift.
Same thing with detachment. If you have to think whether you are detached or not, means that a person is still likely attached.
What do you have going on this weekend? Any cool GAL plans?
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Trust me on this it will just push them closer and you will look crazy and jealous. Once I stopped asking about him, she became concerned. Now she keeps asking me if I still love her.
Not necessarily. Don't give false hope. And, lets make this clear - you are OK with an affair?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
so, I know I have not posted in a bit as we were going through things.
I asked her to leave again on the weekend and that I was going forward with the separation.
I kept the kids with me. She needed to realize what things are going to be like.
she kept txting me on sunday night and monday and came to the realization that maybe it is best to work on the marriage to keep our family together and to keep the kids in a stable environment.
anyway, she said she is coming back home for good and asked if we can start slow by talking everyday about our days and stuff and go from there. She also asked if I could set up a call with my Marriage Coach who I have been talking to.
I am taking this all as good signs that we can actually try to move forward now. Maybe I am stupid for all the chances I have given her but I just feel that strongly about our family and I decided to give her one last shot....I told her I will give her my trust one more and dont take it for granted this time.
it will be tough, but I have fought hard this long and so what is one more battle at this point.
anyway, that is my update. I woke yesterday with the intention of not being married any longer and ended the day with my wife saying she is coming back home for good.
Little compares to the devastation people feel when they discover their spouse has been unfaithful. Couples often struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never ending arguments about the betrayal.
It sounds like your changes have been noticed, just difficult to believe at this point. These changes need to be made for you and your kids. They need to be long lasting and sincere. Prove that to yourself and anyone else through your actions, not your words.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
