Status Unknown

[LW2381]

Gordie,

Thanks for all of your insights.

1. You are exactly right, I have been an emotional mess, and still find myself there some days. Not as many, but some. I have been venting to a good friend, and IC, bc stuffing my emotions may have helped lead up to this problem.

2. I tried the "I can't live like this much longer" talk several times, and was not even really sure if I meant it, but was really hoping just for some emotion from her. Instead, I saw a cold, dark, emptiness in her eyes I haven't seen before. I really made me sad for her. Per Sandi's instruction I have stopped all R talks and will wait for her to initiate (if that even happens). At this point, she may just be biding her time until she can walk. If so, so be it. I will be fine.

3. I have absolutely ridden that roller coaster with her, just like you said. Even now, I still find myself sometimes feeding on her emotion. "Be steady" is the best use of words I have heard, and can feel myself starting to level out a little every day. Still a lot of triggers though.

I keep telling myself this is a marathon that has just begun, biggest problem is I have always been a fixer that needs to fix things NOW (another possible reason I am here.).

Thanks again for reading and for your input into my sitch.