Thanks Jeep. Today has been hard. not sure why. I haven't cried, but my brain wants to go back to panic mode, and my stomach is turning. last night I was fine. just not feeling it today...He is at counseling right now as we speak. He got up late, we exchanged 'good mornings' and a few minutes later I let him know I was taking off. he scanned me up and down and knew I wasn't dressed for work but he didn't ask where I was going. I went to pick up my longbow
It's really hard sleeping next to someone that you know doesn't love you anymore. I think I am just going to take the spare bedroom for a while. last two nights he has come home from work, showered and came right to bed, which is highly unusual for him. not sure what that is all about but I don't want to read into anything anymore. it is what it is, unfortunately. for his sake, I hope he can find happiness soon. whether it is with or without me. Although I want it to be with me, I know that it is highly possible this could all end soon. today I'm just hurting. Oy, I hate this! I keep thinking I didn't do anything bad enough that deserved all this; Like I'm being punished. I know deep down it's not the case. I guess another wave of emotions are starting to surface.
