Mon ami ... this has been in the back of my mind percolating all day. I'm just going to give you a brain dump. As always, take what you want and consign the rest to the trash heap.

I don't know what to say about the spy and FB. That's unfathomable to me. Sorry you have to go through this in addition to everything else.

Irish ... I say this with love and respect. I hope that you can tell that given the limitations of this medium.

Bear with me, there is a point to this:
My mother was diagnosed with stage three cancer three years ago. After a grueling treatment of chemo and radiation it was eradicated, only to return five months later. They said she now had stage 4 and was expected to only survive at most two years. They gave her more radiation. She has been clear since Aug of 2014. I watched her retreat from everything and everyone that was even remotely negative. She truly needed all of her energy just to get through the treatment. Prior to diagnosis, my mother was very negative. This process transformed her for the better, but it took a lot of work on her part and I saw her shy away from stressful situations because she was already in a fight for her life.

Your ex FIL was diagnosed with terminal cancer right around the same time your exw went off the deep end. At a time when he needed all of his energy and focus to survive, he was faced with a repeat of what his own wife did to him, and had to watch yet another daughter succumb to this MLC madness.

Irish, you have such a huge heart and so much compassion. I know that it hurt you and the girls when he didn't initiate calls. I very respectfully suggest that perhaps - just maybe - he too, was in a fight for his life. Maybe he didn't know what to do? And I hate to say this Irish, but God alone knows what exw said. Not that it's any excuse for hurting the girls. It isn't. But I do ask you to for one moment think about it from his perspective. He wasn't able to stop it when it happened in his marriage. It must remind him of his own situation, only having the added pain of watching his daughter, son in law and granddaughters go through this too. I can't imagine how horrible that must be

As for your eew (see, I told you the autocorrect spells exw as eew), this to me seems like a touch and go. I'd refer to Cali for a definite on that, but it sure seems like she's monitoring you, and knows you're moving on, so she pops out of her tunnel a bit to stir things up. The key to me is the slip about FB. She's watching from a distance. These MLCers want control because they know they are internally out of control. I think that's what the touch and go's are all about. Again, I'm not condoning her behavior by any means, but I am saying that awareness of this can help you the next time she pops out.

My dear friend I am so very sorry for the emotional rollercoaster and the pain. You deserve peace, light and love. You and the girls deserve space to heal and grow.

I hope with all my heart that I haven't caused you more pain or aggravation from this post. As always, I wish you only the best of everything. Much love and hugs to you and the girls {{{{{{{xoxoxoxoxo}}}}}}}

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver