Hi Coly, I agree with Ginger. It isn't productive spending time wondering - will he do X if I've done Y?

Focus on being and becoming the woman you want to be independent of him.

"I just need him to know what his life will be like without us and I need to heal so I can be strong enough for what is to come."

Looking at you quote above - best to let go of the first part (I just want to control what he does!) and focus on the last part - taking control of your own life. Putting you at the heart of it!
Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus