Sunmoon, I kicked mine out in October because my kids asked me to. We had so much tension and drama in the house. I realize now that I didn't have to play my part in that. I didn't have to be hurt. I didn't have to be afraid. I didn't have to cry or wonder or care. I read a post Vanilla wrote about the picnic strategy. I should have done that. I should I have shown him to his face while he was still here how awesome I am and his kids are and our life is. Now he is 50 miles away and we do not communicate.
I think if you are able to follow your sister's guidance, you can drop your rope. You can live your life and let him see every day what an awesome person you are (and that comes across in your posts). You don't have to worry about what he thinks of you on any one of those days or moments. The one thing I realize more than anything right now, is that I allowed my life to be ruled by fear and fear stopped me from listening to my gut and doing what was best for me and my kids. I will never live in fear again. I accept his divorce. I accept that he is choosing a life different than the one I thought we would live. I accept that not all kids get to have wonderful, adoring fathers in their lives. I accept that my destiny and my happiness are within my control. You can do that too!
