I guess I don't understand some of you. And, that's not anger, or defensiveness. It's just fact.
Nothing I said was in anger at all. I have absolutely no reason to be angry. Can we just agree to disagree here? Although I really don't know what I'm disagreeing with! (except for not being angry).
Pam, I don't think we are disagreeing! We all have our opinions, none of us is wrong in that. So let's drop the rope. No one has to see things either way.
Okay... I've been reading and not posting and maybe I'm just confused.
I don't think ANYONE on here wants an arfer to come to their thread and post... I certainly don't expect/want anyone to cheer me on while I go down ANY cheeseless tunnels. I want/need brutal honesty... NOW. But there was a time when I was in such pain, and needed anyone who remotely understood what I was going through to just be compassionate... not really arfing me along, just welcoming.
And the bb was there.
This sight holds a lot of remarkable people... many who have tromped through this crap and made it through, some with their M, some without. It is a unique place, cause out there in the 'real' world, the advice is move on, honey... your M, your H, they aren't worth it.
Do I see growth in me? Yes. Do I see growth in my sitch... yes and no, and not sure which way it is growing? Do I get afraid and reach out and need a guiding hand? Absolutely...
Are things happening at the speed I would like them too? No, absolutely not... slow as sea corral as someone once said... and I think that is why I don't post much on my own thread... I'm in limbo, I'm waiting, I'm trying very hard to look after me, and there is not much more going on... If anyone thinks there SHOULD be something going on, by all means, let me know, with 2 x 4 or whatever.
Anyway, what I don't want people to be is discouraged from posting, or not posting... there is room on here for everyone, and hopefully, all will be HONEST, but at times, with the velvet 2 x 4, if need be.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Well, we tried to agree to disagree yesterday but judging from today, it didn't go so well.
At risk of continuing the debate, I didn't see anger OR defensiveness in your post! Yet, I did in Kitti's. So, we can safely assume (is that an oxymoron?) that we view things differently than many people here. And to that I say, THANK GOD!
Not because anyone's viewpoints are wrong or right or good or bad, but because without you seeing things the way that I do and helping me through these things without arfing...well...you'd be watching me on Divorce Court one afternoon!
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
Mer, if you do ever make it to divorce court, instead of referring to H as "the plaintiff" or whatever, can you please refer to him as your baby daddy?
Now, can we close this thread for good? I don't like it!!!
and to defend kk, who needs no defending, she is not angry, but IS brutally honest, and very capable of wielding a timely 2x4... (cause I've felt a lot of them )
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Quote: Not because anyone's viewpoints are wrong or right or good or bad, but because without you seeing things the way that I do and helping me through these things without arfing...well...you'd be watching me on Divorce Court one afternoon!
Be careful about that, you may just have jinxed yourself!
Oh, but before I wrap this one up, may I say that I LOVE the use of the word "arfer."
My H told me to try to get "ozone" in now. It seems it was an experiment in his 7th grade class to get a word into everyday vocabulary...so instead of "cool," it was to be "ozone." Needless to say, it didn't catch on...
Sometimes arfers are ozone, sometimes they aren't!
Quote: if you do ever make it to divorce court, instead of referring to H as "the plaintiff" or whatever, can you please refer to him as your baby daddy?
Done deal! Absolutely!
What I am trying to say, your honor, is that my baby daddy...
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
I don't think we are disagreeing! We all have our opinions, none of us is wrong in that. So let's drop the rope. No one has to see things either way.
