Round 2

[Tryin2figuritout]

Jeep - Definitely makes sense on the passive controlling.

Sandi/25/Or anyone with advice - One of the puzzling parts for me in the withdrawal / detachment is balancing activities with her family. Right now, all events are wide open to me and in fact I'll be splitting vacation time with my W and her family in May (W goes first few days and I go back half of week at beach with my in-laws).

I appreciate that this is all open to me and love her family. Where I hesitate is being there with her physically and I can explain a little more.

One of our core needs is feeling safe. Its this need that made us both not fight so as to "rock the boat". Classic resentment build up between both of us. While I'm not doing everything I did last time in DB'ing (I'm doing more!!), the withdrawal physically was a big thing because then she did not have me as a safety net.

I know we'll have plenty of this physical space once the apartment life is up and running (we're sharing the apartment - W days at home with kids, Me at apartment; visa versa), but I also know we've got events with her family that I am welcomed to.

Part of me wants to just be there with my kids and enjoying these opportunities and part of me wants to not go so I am just not there. I know I asked this last week, but I'm still conflicted and trying to work through this.

Advice/comments would be greatly appreciated.