I had a very similar experience with the junk mail and sending me mail that was redirected to one of five mailing addresses for my xh. In fact, he would put everything in a large envelope, address the envelope and then put it in my mailbox. At the time, he lived 90 minutes away. He would write nasty, demanding stuff on the outside of the envelope. Other times, he would send stuff to me via the mail and write nasty things on the back so the postal staff would see it.
As for the junk mail, I think it's his way of giving you info so that if you need help w/something you can call one of those junk mail advertisers and not ask him to do anything.
As for addressing things to you in your maiden name, yes, it's passive aggressive and in his own way, he's telling you the marriage is over and in his mind, he is already divorced.
Is your car registration in both names? If so, I would look into changing that so that your registration doesn't go to him again.
I do understand how you feel about having your guard up. He's clearly not happy and he is clearly sending you a message that it's over (at least in his mind).
They really do strange things when they are in crisis and you just never know what they'll come up w/next. You are always on high alert when this kind of behavior comes into play. Some do it and others don't...but I would venture to say your h is a conflict avoider and a passive aggressive individual, i.e., much like my xh.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
