Help!

[marye]

Hi everybody,

I wanted to update my situation and ask for some words of advice.

I've just discovered my H was having an EA. I'm destroyed at the fact he lied to me. I was sort of suspecting sthg but finding out is a terrible shock, even if it is EA.

I tried to stay as calm as possible. He said he was willing to leave the house but that he wanted to stay. He's at home, ashamed and afraid the kids may get to know. I told him they didn't need to know about that because he would stay as a liar in front of them, which would devastate him.

He has accepted all the accusations I made and has stopped contact with this younger girl. I'm not sure if it is because he's afraid of losing me or afraid of it becoming known to all. But he has stopped contact. I would have liked reassurance that he stopped contact because of me but it did not happen.

Can this help him through the tunnel? He has said it was the first time he broke rules ever since adolescence. He feels he has brought about this himself because he has a selfish and self-destructive mind.

How should I react? How will things go on from now on? I would try to let it go if it can really get him out of the fog.

Any word of advice will really help me.