Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

[Meredith]

just loving concern for how people are thinking!

Exactly what we are trying to express as well! Loving concern for traits lately that we thought should be brought to everyone’s attention.

Again, I have to say this very loudly, WE ARE NOT SAYING NEVER, ALWAYS, EVERY TIME, ETC. There are many instances where these things play an important role. Yet, there are also many instances where there is more arfing happening than advice.

I think that in the line of hope, no one will disagree with you that one should always have it. Yet, we should also do our best to prepare some of our DB friends for what is about to happen as well and encourage them to work on the changes in themselves, but to put the marriage to rest for the time being. In doing so, the person takes their focus OFF of the spouse who’s leaving and the divorce and directs their focus back to themselves.

For example, without Pam and Betsey forcing me to do this over this past week, I can’t tell you all the damage I would have done to my own marriage. When things seemed entirely hopeless, they both made me stop, go dark, and focus on my children and myself. Did I have hope? Somewhere back in my mind, yes. But I was also prepared for whatever outcome I was facing. I would not have been had they stood there and arfed at me over whatever I did in effort to save my marriage.

Here nor there, I did sense some anger in Kitti’s post yesterday also. 2x4 me if you will, but I did. I’m not saying that it makes her a bad person or makes her points invalid, far the opposite. Just simply saying what I think. As we should all begin to do more openly on this BB.

That was our point, in a nutshell.