Status Unknown

[LW2381]

Sandi,

Wow, I have read so much of your advice and can truly say I feel blessed you have given me advice on my sitch.

In November, when she went from okay to gone (there were warning signs, I know it didn't happen overnight), she said she felt like i had never loved her like she loved me. It came out in MC that she had put me on a pedestal early on, and obviously i plummeted quickly from that pedestal as we are all broken people. The porn aggravated that, and we never dealt with that.

I saw how much love she still had for me we didn't know how serious my heart condition was, but at that time I had now idea about the EA. So it may have been remorse, but I didn't recognize it as such.

We have a good christian counselor who does specialize in affair recovery, and we have established that we never accurately dealt with the porn issues, and a lot of that resentment was still in her heart. So now we are working through the A and my past troubles, but I still am not sure she is fully on-board with it.

She has always had self-esteem issues, and I know the porn just made that worse for her. On top of that we were going through infertility during this time. She told me after the admission of the EA/PA that she thought "he would love her". Everything he told her were the same things that I told her everyday but meant more coming from him. I am fully aware of the problems I created that pushed her away from me. I don't own the A, but I do own my part of the marital breakdown.

She says now, she worries that everything will be okay for a few months and then we will end up right back here. I genuinely feel terrible for the emotions my W is wrestling with. I see her pain.

I just have no idea where to go next. Do I detach, do I work on piecing, MC says love her through this, which really makes detaching and acting like I moving on w or w/out her really hard!