Leaving it up to God (I think!)

[roist]

Being in contact with him had not had the results you want, why not give the NC a real attempt. I understand your fears but this is as Sandi and Michelle reiterate about " doing what works and stopping what isn't".I would just add that for something to "work" we must do it consistently for enough time. If I could predict how long I would make money at it!! But no one can but it is often longer than we think.

Nice break with the work bonus. You managed that when you were" broken" ( sorry can't think of better word, but meant nicely). Imagine what you can do when you are out of crisis.

Reading your last post, I think you should contemplate doing something new, something out of character. It will do you the world of good and will give H food for thought. Don't fear change. Don't be so comfortable with the as is that you never change. So I challenge you to come up with something new soon. Repaint/redecorate house, new hobby or club, anything but has to be fairly big for you. It'll change your perspective and maybe that of others.

Best wishes