had a long, calm and collected conversation with H last night. his mind is confused, he still doesn't know how to reconnect with me or even if the feelings will ever come back for me. he stays because he doesn't want to regret divorcing, but at this point he is numb to any feeling he has toward me. he loves me, he cares for me, he hold no ill will towards me, he just has disconnected to a point that he feels all is lost.
I have decided to detach, while still living here- do a 180. work on myself. be happy when hes around. that way if he needs me, I;m here, but I'm not going to push anything or suggest anything or even try to connect with him. He will need to make that effort on his own accord. I'm physically, emotionally and mentally drained to a point that its hard to even stay awake during the day. I can't keep doing this, my health is my priority now.
