Sandi, This evening my wife spoke with me briefly. She said that she had paid a solicitor a grand to start the divorce proceedings stating that she doesn't love or want to be with me.
The conversation started when I asked her quietly if she wanted me to go because she had a relationship with someone else. I said I want to know because if that was the case I would know what to do. ( meaning but I don't know if I made myself clear that I would understand we were over) my wife became a little frustrated saying no but of course I have seen her kissing a different man to the one that I think dropped her, perhaps someone she has known longer. But is it possible she hasn't taken it any further ?
She says she doesn't want men in her life and that I have put her off men for life by leaving her to struggle all these years.
She said she had been thinking about it for a long time to which I replied "I know, about 5 years. Her reaction suggests I was spot on. I won't go into everything so as not to waste your time plus my memory is vague but we talked for a short time reasonably,though she still insisted on divorce unless I left the house or something I don't recall.
She did say she would go to relate if the decision was binding. I thought relate was a therapist organization, anyway I said that they were not the type of people I wanted to use and that we should use a solution based therapist and I will locate one. My wife didn't really comment further about this so I don't know if she agrees or not but I will look into it. Please advise the best way to do this. It has been suggested that I text my wife saying that I'm sorry that she wants to divorce but and as she is cheating g on me I can't carry on in the marriage and I would like to go with her to mediation. (This will save us thousands thigh not what she has spent already) and it could but time.
Perhaps the bot about cheating is antagonizing and not a good idea but I see why it was suggested. Neither of us can really afford solicitors without putting a charge on the house which could wipe us out financially.
Perhaps her friends in the last post have bank rolled her. They are giving her advise and they clearly dislike me intensely.
