Thank you all for your replies and your words.

Cadet and OwnIt- I have nothing against the books. I see on these threads how well they work. Because of you guys I will wind up reading them. I just thought they were geared toward trying to work on it and at the moment I'm tired and I feel like I want to start anew.
And Cadet I will delete my history= Good advise!


M50 W46
D16 S14
Married 20
Bomb Drop 3/5/17