Yeah, you guys are right. Keeping it a mystery is probably the best. So, is she truly in love or coping in your opinion? The OM is is 6 years older than me, not attractive, doesn't make as much $ etc... of course none of these things matter but what gives?
Love? Doubtful. Affairs are built on fantasy and infatuation rather than reality. When you've been unhappy in a relationship for a long time, having another person come along who expresses interest in you and treats you kindly feels rather intoxicating. But real love...the kind that washes your dirty laundry and takes care of you when you're sick and is your co-partner in building a home, paying bills and raising a family...that takes time. The reason that so many relationships that started as an affair end is because when they try to take that fantasy into reality, the infatuation can't hold up. I am currently reading a book that states over 80 percent of marriages between affair partners end in another divorce...and those stats are the "success stories" of affairs that actually make it to marriage. So realistically, the chances that your W has found her "soul mate" in the neighbor are really very slim.
That said, your focus right now should be on getting yourself to a healthy place so you will be OK with or without her.
Last edited by Cadet; 03/28/1702:14 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message