Oh yeah, life goes on...

[Sotto]

Thanks Bttrfly and Gwen

Gwen, thanks for your kind words - it is good when you feel that shift - a lightness of heart and a genuine engagement in what is going on in your own life. I do feel I have managed to put XH very much on the back burner. Whether that is real detachment - I'm not sure how I would feel if I actually had to see him - or OW - I don't know and I still get some irrational, PTSD type symptoms when I have to visit their city.

What I do know is that the growth has been good for me. I do feel more accepting of myself and I feel more compassion towards him/them. I don't envy what they have as choosing a partner wisely is so important - and if we don't do that - our choice karmically becomes our life. What goes around comes around and if we choose to become OW - if our R starts in a deceptive, dishonest place - it may well end in that place too.

But, I also feel that's up to them and how any one chooses to live life is up to them. I'm exercising my own choices and hoping to live the best life I can. I still get moments of shock and disbelief - did this really happen to me? It is like I forget the loss and then I remember it again and have to remind myself it really did happen and here I am.

I do try and work on the premise that it's what I do that's important - not what XH did, does, may do - that's his side of the street, which is up to him and on him. I'm not really interested in hearing from 'new XH' - I don't believe he has much to offer me. He didn't end our marriage in a way that would build an onward friendship. Equally, I don't like to have such a rift in my life....so I still think I'm working through things and sorting through my feelings about everything.

I don't hope for reconciliation - but it would be nice to lay things to rest somehow - but I don't see many people get that from their former partner and I think we have to do our own laying to rest of things.

Anyway, just musing really. I just booked a place on a workshop linked to a really good book I recently read and my new post at work has just been announced. So, many positive developments in my life and I try to keep moving forwards...

Very best wishes to you xx