First of all, thanks for the post. It was this kind of give and take that I had hoped for. We're not always going to agree, but that's what I like about the board. It is helpful to get other perspectives. It should never feel like an attack if someone doesn't agree with you. Livnlearn, I think the key to your post was that you said that you've had to swallow your pride a few times. This is what I was getting at. Too many people just flail about angrily when they don't hear what they want to hear. No, I don't mean from me in particular, because I am far from guru status! But, when many people can spot a mistake being made, it does mean that it is time to swallow some pride and try to take a new approach. Or, quit whining about it. Either one.
Oh, sure, I have been in the same boat where a title caught my eye, so I read the thread, only to discover I had nothing to add. I'm sure it happens all the time.
Also, many people just "lurk" and try to learn without jumping in. And many of them follow the same threads. Again, nothing wrong with that.
When I "lurk" it is because there is something there that I am still trying to process. I may not find the owner of the thread too appealing, but perhaps he or she has a great support system in place, and I want to learn from them. I see a lot of this. I get frustrated when I see this, though, and I see no movement by the owner of the thread to better him or herself.
You may say, "who are you to decide that?" I ask myself that too. But, this all goes to the honesty I was referring to. I'm not here to win a popularity contest. I think at first I was though. When I got "real" though, that's when my life began to improve.
My posts were a response to the impatience I was feeling. We are all here for the same reason, and while there is no quick, one-size-fits-all fix, there is still help to be had. But, there are so many times that if someone jumps in with something really thought provoking, it is ignored in favor of the "atta boys" that people seem to want to hear instead.
I wasn't pointing fingers. I just was hoping to point out that just reading some threads is not going to be a life saver for anyone.
This is work, darn it! Really hard, soul-searching work. And, you may fall on your face every once in a while. Yes, it is great to have that support when you do.
BUT, this can't be a constant love fest. Sometimes someone has to step in and say the tough stuff. Sometimes you may have to stop doing something the way you have always done it.
My post can from the frustration of the tail chasing. But, I will not deny that Triple J and Meredith had some great thoughts as well.
But, like I said, that's the beauty of this place. You don't have to agree, but maybe it will make you think a bit.
Thanks again for the post! It is not easy to jump in when you think you are starting up some type of argumment. I assure you, you aren't! I'm willing to listen to many points of view. Who knows? I may "tweak" my own a little with some feedback.
And that is exactly why I am here. We're all just learning...
