WAW and the Big D

[Bdog37]

Journaling/venting

Wow, another crazy week in my life. Saw my L on Friday and he, once again, reassured me that many of her requests won't hold up in court. However, he also advised me that the judges in my county are not "black and white" so they could rule against me in regards to some things. The major concerns of mine are something that I will fight for and I believe I chose the right L to do just that. If he is as half as good in the courtroom as he is in our meetings then I should be ok.

With that being said, I am sadden once again in regards to the STBEW's actions towards our kids. She has proven time and time again that her desire for freedom is more important then time with them and being a mother. Not even sure how someone comes to such a decision, but this latest event over the weekend has strengthened my case to get my kids more then I already do. I would never keep them away from her, but if its her freedom that she wants so bad then I will be more than willing to give it to her. My girls are the most important thing in my life right now....not my freedom.

This woman that she has become makes me sick and I can't find any love for her anymore. She came over on Sat to get some more belongings out of the house and I couldn't stand her presence. I now find myself wishing more and more that I never have to see or deal with her for the rest of my life. I don't even look back on all the good times we shared anymore. I haven't felt sadness for loosing her in quite sometime now and I really just wish she would leave me alone and stop texting me all the time.

I'm pretty sure the only reason I have reached this point is because I see who she has become. Maybe this was the woman I married and I was blinded by love the entire time?? Maybe in those 16 years together she has changed and her views on M have also change. Regardless, I know that I didn't deserve what she did to me and I am better than that. I know that I have no desire to be with this woman, whoever she is, and that there are many out there that will value who I am more than she ever could.