Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

[Meredith]

Livenlearn,

I would absolutely advocate the spirit of live and let live…to a point.

I have read many people's threads and not responded, either because I have felt I had nothing constructive to add, or because someone else has already made the point that I would have made. So what is the problem there?

The problem there is that you do have something to add. EVERYONE has something to add. If you read these people, then you clearly have an interest in their situation. Most of the time, I would guess that their sitch is similar to your own and you take things away with you when you leave. Well, so what would be so wrong with posting to these people? And if someone has already made the point that you were going to make, reiterate it! Show the person seeking advice that this worked or didn’t work for someone besides the original point maker. Affirm the person who posted such advice. Give the guy seeking information as much information as we have got to go on! Case in point, Pam was hesitant to post to Betsey and I because she felt intimidated. Turns out, she did post in the end, and is one of my very close friends and someone who has made this journey manageable for me. Had she decided not to post? Well, I would have missed out on a wonderful friend. Am I suggesting that we should post on every thread we read? Hell no! But when you read someone regularly, you should have something to say…even if it isn’t what they want to hear and goes against the rest of the seals.

Livenlearn, the advice you receive on your thread is of course valuable. And someone has to post it there for you to take value from it. All I’m suggesting here is that people reply to what they read a little more. It certainly makes people feel less like a cross between’ entertainment’ and ‘robot therapists’ and more like human beings!

Of course we cannot be everywhere at once and of course we have time restraints. No one is thinking that we should be everywhere on this board, and there is nothing wrong with sticking to a certain forum and venturing out into Newcomers once in a while to lend advice when there is time to do so. I myself have not posted to anyone lately because of time restraints (and frustrations), so I completely understand the need to stay away for a bit.

And to be fair, when you offer someone your email address you get what you get. But I do feel awfully taken advantage of when Pam posts on my thread that there has been some serious turmoil in my life and someone reads it and has the gall to email me saying that if I won’t be back anytime soon they need to email me their questions because they need answers. Give me a break!

What I am saying with all that, which may sound far more bitter than I intended it to, is that if we all pitched in and posted some 2x4’s to the people who are out there chasing their tails, the BB in general might get a strong benefit from it. And if we let go of our inhibitions to post to others, we may come out with more value from this experience than we thought possible.