Wife left two days before our anniversary! Part 2

[jbroken]

OwnIt,

thanks again for your sound and hard-hitting advice. I read your words quite a few times before they managed to sink in. I will keep revisiting them. It is an inward battle between my heart and mind and everyday there seems to be different winner. It is starting to get extremely difficult to not see her as the other side one minute and my wife/lover/best-friend the next. But, I'm doing my best to take my emotions out of the sitch as I know that will not help matters.

I've GD for over two weeks now. NC from her either - I sometimes wonder if she is actually using the GD stratagem on me! Nothing - except for that message which I mentioned earlier. I know you suggested I should've responded as I would to a neighbour but, I personally felt I left it too late and it would have been awkward after a few days had passed. I don't know if I made the right call there. I really don't.

One of my chief concerns is that she has surrounded herself with her mother and new and old friends that will reinforce her decision and encourage her to move on, live her life, explore the greener grass - even if she is not really technically in that frame of mind. Yes, I suddenly do not have a lot of well-wishers in this. My biggest fear - based on how planned and calculated her 'exit strategy' was - is that she actually DOES want to move on. I cannot see why else she would block me on Instagram if not to hide what a dandy old time she is having? I know I can't control this but, I find it extremely painful to bear. It is as if she took a pair of scissors and cut me out of her life. Nevertheless, these words of yours keep ringing in my ears so I will do my best to '...be her lighthouse. Be where she left you (but a stronger, calmer and happier you). Be bright and strong and reliable. Be kind and loving (from afar). Let her decide how close to shore she can risk coming.' Though I can't sometimes help feel like a right mug about it.

I read your post again on how to handle dealing with common friends - as I really need to reach out to a couple in the next few days on matters completely unrelated. What is your opinion if they bring it up and it becomes apparent that they have already picked her side? Should I then get my side of the story out? Or still take the high road? I honestly don't want to play these games but, the way I've been treated so far, I don't really know what to expect from anyone.

Edit - this reply is to Ownit - Cadet