WAS or what 9

[roist]

Quick update.

Things are pretty much as they have been for a while now, so no big update to report.

I am on this forum almost two years and decided to save my M six months before that. Many could say if it hasn't changed by now it won't. Even if that is so, my time has not been wasted IMO. But I still believe in the potential of a new R with W. Having W stay is not enough for me. Eventually I may have to decide enough is enough, but that is not today. TBH I rarely think about that these days.

Anyway. Faced with my situation continuing as is, I believe it is time for a new approach or rather a revamped version of my approach. I will still balance all the aspects of my situation and follow DB principles but I have three pronged approach to revamping things. Before outlining these this thinking came about with me not being happy with my situation. I cannot change that so I need to change.

The three principles of my latest change are:

1 Daily rituals. I am going to put in place simple short daily rituals to improve certain aspects of my life, principally breathing exercises,affirmations, gratitude... .. I am going to commit to doing these daily.

2 Goals/actions. This in itself is not new to me, but it is time to go bigger. I will start noting down all things little and small that I may like to do someday. I want to make this a habit. These will just be random thoughts. I will review this list often and pick stuff to do and create a bucket list of things I want to do before I die. This will be eventually printed and used to set aims/goals going forward. Based on these two lists I will generate a top ten list in order of importance and I will work towards achieving them.

I have listened to a lot about the law of attraction, about mindset , about positivity and taking inspired actions. This will be my version. In summary I will become clearer on what I want and make it happen.

3. Embrassing fully who I want to be. For various reasons which differed as I progressed on this journey I have limited myselfby placing self imposed barriers. I couldn't do X until this is achieved. I couldn't do Y until that ended. Sometimes this is inevitable and normal. But where it isn't I aim to remove those barriers one by one.

This includes with W. Regardless of where we are at or how she treats me, I can treat her the way I want. I have often said stuff like, when things are better I will be like Z. Or if things get worse I can do W. Now is time to test the theory of if I change the R will too. That is not the main objective of this, but an attractive benefit. I mainly want to be ME and act as I would in a normal R. This I will ease into and will keep in mind everything I have learned here over the last two years.

I have been dwelling on this for a good while now as I have a barrier blocking me. I am not sure how much is self inflicted but some of it is. Poor interactions with W stop me wanting to try, I just lose motivation.To help me get passed this I have firstly simply decided to do so, am writing here for accountability and I want to try a 100% no negativity approach for 3 weeks. For 21 days I will not say anything negative or critical to or about W ( or: n general). This includes passive aggressive behaviour and negative tones/looks etc. Ideally should include thoughts,but I will be lineant on myself with that. The catch is that if I exhibit negativity I restart my 21 day count. I don't believe that 21 is important but it is a tool to help eliminate negativity and at least improve awareness and hence control of it.

This is a very global view of my thinking going forward. Time to expand again. Wish me luck.

I like coming here and helping others or at least giving them my viewpoint, but going forward I may reduce my time on this forum. This project is ambitious and I may decide to focus on that. I will be around for a while to come but maybe not as much. Time will yell.

Ha who. I hope my update lived up to the "coming soon" announcement.Haha.