She has obviously fallen head over heels for this man but do we all think she is truly happy or is this her way of coping and getting away from the situation? Will her relationship with him last? As much as it embarrasses me to say, TODAY...if she were to come to me and say she broke it off with OM and wants to work on our marriage, I would say yes.
2x4 [ON] OFF Why does it matter if she is truly happy or not? The truth is, the marriage doesn't mean anything to her - nothing at all. And before anyone talks mindreading, if it did then she wouldn't be sleeping with another. Period. It may last, it may not. Doesn't really make any difference.
Use this time to work on you. And you only. Because that's what is really important - not her. YOU.
Now, let me ask a direct question - why do you want someone back who so blatantly disrespected you and the marriage? Also, lets say, just for sh*ts and giggles, if she does want to try again...what would cross your mind if she goes for an extra-long walk? Or is late "shopping?" Or traffic? Would a smidgeon of doubt cross your mind? If so, then that is very telling.
Maybe the real thing we should examine is our own selfish reason...
2x4 ON [OFF]
Not be blunt or come across as an a**, so don't take it that way. Just providing a different perspective.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.