Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

[Meredith]

I wasn’t going to post! Pam, damn you, I wasn’t going to post! But, now I feel that I must…

I have been away as Triple J described. My life has taken some unexpected turns these past couple of months, and I can’t say that the majority of those turns have been bad. Only recently have those turns been taken on my marriage road, and therefore I didn’t feel it appropriate to post during that adjustment period. Pam and Betsey, my forever friends, have lent me their support and shoulders to cry on off of this board, but since the struggles that I was working through had little to nothing to do with saving a marriage or exiting one, I kept it off of the BB.

Sensationalism is big around here, and people often slow down to check out the latest car accident on the side of the road. The fact that they don’t get out of their cars nine times out of ten pisses me off. I can watch the number growing in the ‘viewed’ column next to my thread…but why would the ‘replies’ column be so much less than the ‘viewed’? The only thing I could figure is that I was the latest gory accident on the side of the road. And I would not, for any reason, throw the innocent people in my life into this cycle of sensationalism. The latest train wreck, as Pam would call it.

I will also agree with Triple J, as I had one such email at the very beginning of my ‘away’ period. This person knows who it is, because of the downright nasty email that I responded with. I apologize for the nastiness. Yet, please understand where it came from. My life is in turmoil, yet people don’t give a fig. They are simply seeking free therapy sometimes. And that too, turned me off from posting on the board.

This week, my sitch has taken another turn. Because I am in the middle of the hurt, fear and anger, I do feel that it is a turn for the worse. Add to those feelings the fact that my husband moved out a YEAR ago, and I don’t feel much hope. That said, a small part of me is considering that there may be more to this story beyond the black and the white of it. My H may be working through some things in a way that to me is the wrong way, but to him is the only way. The wrong way to me because he’s hurting my children as well, and it is not acceptable. I’d love to ask the board for help with this…but for right now I’ll stick to Pam and Betsey and anyone else who would like to email me. Why? I am not willing to be the train wreck right now.

Like Triple J, I would hope that some people read these posts and realize that they need to do a few things…

1. Recognize your own sitch and (after asking for advice) follow your gut feelings
2. Recognize that there are human beings posting on this board. Not therapist robots.
3. Recognize your more of the same behaviors and STOP THEM. It hasn’t worked for you before, and it is not going to work now.
4. Recognize the need for a 2x4 and issue it. Chances are you’re going to hurt someone far more by arfing for them than you will with the initial shock they’ll receive from hearing the truth.
5. Recognize the fact that posting advice to others is a great way to stay on top of your own DB tactics. You could end up helping yourself even if they do continue to chase their tail.

On that note, I’ll head off to start dodging the tomatoes that people are probably going to be throwing!