Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

[TripleJ]

Pam,

Thank you very, very much for bringing the honesty out. I am hoping that everyone gets a chance to visit this thread because of the last few posts.

I would like to add a few things if I may to the honesty fest, because I think it bears needing said.

This BB is a wonderful thing. When I first came here, I didn't know where to turn. I was atr a complete loss of what I should do. But through reading posts, the help of some people and much, much reading of books, I learned about the man I should be and became that man.

But I will be honest and say that there were times where the BB was a hinderance, because of some of the things that were listed in your post. It does get tiring to read the same things, over and over and over again. It gets tiring to try and help people who do the same things over and over and over again.

IMO, there aren't enough 2x4s thrown around here. There is too much arfing, patting on the back thinking even though you backslid, things will be all right. Well more often than not, they aren't.

THIS IS WHY HONESTY IS SO IMPORTANT ON THIS BOARD!!!!!!

Not only honesty with what we tell others, but honesty within ourselves.

Also, and you mentioned this, what works for one does not necessarily work for another. I see on threads people trying what others have tried, seemingly doing it blindly without looking at thier own sitch.

I t is imperative to realize the state of our own sitchs. My W is totally different from any other here on the BB. She may be doing alot of the same things, but only I know how she will react, only I know how she perceives and only I know what she is capable of. The alien behavior only goes so far.

I also want to add the fact that this BB can be overwhelming at times, and all of us need a break from it. I believe that if a person is away from the BB, it is for good reason. It may be that they need a break. It may be that they have a family crisis. or it just may be that they need to hide in the cave for aq bit. Whatever the reason, this person needs to be away for their own well being. While most of us have traded personal emails and IM names, there are times where a person just needs to be left alone. If a person you most rely on the board is "away", people need to respect that.

Alot of us are in pain. And we, especially the people who have been doing DB for a while, deal with it in their own way, and most of the time it is internal, away from the board.

I implore people to give us this time. Please, emails or IMs or calls asking what you should do in your sitch, knowing how much we are going through, maybe unfair at times. There are many people on this board who will help, we don't need to rely on a few people.

I am not trying to be mean here. We know who are friends are. I will tell when I need my time and just hope people respect that. I highly welcome emails asking how I am doing and that your concerned for me and send me hugs from here to Hoboken, but don't be surprised if you send me an email asking what you should do when I am in pain, and I don't answer or send you back to the board.

This is what the board is about.

Hope I didn't make too many people mad, and if I did, well......

Triple J