So likely losing your temper or going silent, sulking or falling to pieces wouldn't work either. In essence a healthy strong detached response is best.
But going silent is a DB strategy. What makes you classify it here with the other three things? Or are you just saying you don't think it will help me in my situation? My wife is almost completely silent with me. She won't hardly respond to anything I say.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Mind reading is hard of course, but what's clear is that she doesn't want to respond. Why is the question. And I wonder that a lot. Maybe interacting with me makes her feel guilty or miss me. Maybe it just makes her mad. Maybe it makes her sad. I don't know.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
Mind reading is hard of course, but what's clear is that she doesn't want to respond. Why is the question. And I wonder that a lot. Maybe interacting with me makes her feel guilty or miss me. Maybe it just makes her mad. Maybe it makes her sad. I don't know.
I can totally get that. Been there, done that. How are you interacting with her? I mean, look at it from outside of your box as an impartial observer.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
My guess is that she just wants me to move on. But she told me long ago that if we ever broke up, she'd want to be friends, yet she has been treating me pretty much like I'm dead to her.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
My guess is that she just wants me to move on. But she told me long ago that if we ever broke up, she'd want to be friends, yet she has been treating me pretty much like I'm dead to her.
Oh man I know that feeling all too well. Mine said the same thing about friends, too. I told her that I look forward to an amicable relationship, but not a friendship - friends don't do what they have done to us.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
All of ours do that...they want us to be their friends in some form in order to ease their mind. Sure, they have moved on, but it makes them feel better if we are their buddies.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
going silent wouldn't work either. In essence a healthy strong detached response is best.
But going silent is a DB strategy. What makes you classify it here with the other three things? Or are you just saying you don't think it will help me in my situation? My wife is almost completely silent with me. She won't hardly respond to anything I say.
I wont presume to speak for V, but I think what she means is that if you are in a discussion with your W and instead of continuing through a disagreement, you 'turn off' and 'shut down'. Its behavior similar to children's and is indicative of sulking.
I dont think she was talking about going dark and not pursuing.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Yeah. Our marriage could have been made to be what she needed it to be, but she would never stay away from other men. Always resisted not being able to have male friends. I always told her that's how romantic feelings for another man can come about. When she first told me how nice this guy at work is (OM). I said, "Great. Another guy that I have to worry about." This was back in the summer, right after she first started the new job. She said, "No, he's old." I said, "How old?" She told me he was 36. I suppose that was her first lie about him, that he was old. We then argued some about it, and she complained that she needs to be able to be friends with her coworkers. I told her that she needs to have friendly professional interactions, but she doesn't need to be friends with the males. The workplace is such a toxic environment for infidelity, because you spend so much time there. That's one of the major disadvantages to women entering the workforce -- too much interaction between the sexes. It's to the point where they see the people at work probably more than their own spouses. We have to really armor up our spouses with the love they need, so that they won't be receptive to it from someone else. Of course, some will cheat anyway. I'm quite certain my wife would not have, if I had been nourishing her properly.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
