Abuse Resource 2 (Vanilla and Zelda)

[Dawgs]

Adverse Childhood Experiences and abuses make us more apt to push people away or ourselves , which perpetrates aloneness

Thanks for posting all of this. I singled this out because of my ex's abusive past. If you've read any of my stuff then you are aware of my ex's horrific childhood. Well, horrific doesn't even begin to touch the tip of the iceberg in her case. I won't go into any more detail than what I've already done as this is a public forum, but this is a topic that I've learned a lot about through many venues and just plain seeing what it did to her and how it shapes her life now.

In my ex's case, your statement can be seen in the fact that she runs at the smallest thing - she had said in MC several times that she was famous for leaving relationships. At the same time, she is drawn/pushed to be with those who in some form are like the abusers of her past...that is something I don't fully get and maybe you can shed some light on it.

I'm not looking for understanding in hopes of getting her back - our relationship is done and buried. I just want to understand better. And, as you are aware, I have a little girl who is at the age of when my ex's abuse was in full-swing. I'm worried, quite honestly. I'm worried because I see shades of the ex's mom in the ex, and that isn't a good thing at all. I have expressed all of this to my lawyer and have detailed records to include her suicidal texts, but as my lawyer said, there really isn't anything I can do until she does something or puts them in a negative situation...and by then, its too late.

Sure, I could have won full custody, but the cost (not monetarily) would have been too high. That option will always be there if I need to exercise it.

What are some of the signs I should be looking for in my children?