How many times have you guys fought the urge to talk to your WAS and whine, complain, reason, and so forth? It's so hard when there are things you want to say to them so badly but DB says you shouldn't. It's that whole trust the head over the heart thing. Why is it our instinct to do what we shouldn't to get our spouses back?
Reason, yes. Whine and complain? No. Who wants to hear someone whine and complain?
We've all been there. And we all have crushed that butterfly into dust. Is it right? No, but we do it because we want to hold onto our memories of what we ONCE had. That's what it boils down to...the fact that we are fighting for the memory of the person we had, not the person we have - well not really, because we don't have that person, either. The bigger question is why do we do this? Why do we continually fight for someone that doesn't feel the way we do? Why do we fight for someone who has disrespected us and the marriage so greatly as to sleep with someone else? That's a hard question to answer.
The sun will always rise. Maybe we do it out of fear of the unknown. We always think if we do this or this or this that it will somehow magically make them want to come back, when it does nothing more than drive a wedge into the chasm that is already there. I get it. I truly do. I once did all those things. I thought, maybe if I did this - maybe if I took her out on a date, whatever - that things would change. We've all been there.
Maybe our answer lies in our own selfishness.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
