First time post feeling lost and confused

[dodog]

Been a few days since my last post. Did go out after all on the Friday night and went round a friends house and put the world to rights. Played golf Saturday in a charity golf day for a sick little boy. Bought back lots of memories when our youngest was really sick so I made my excuses and left. That's when my day went from bad to worse. Spoke to my daughter and said I would call her around 7.30. Got to my folks place and didn't really feel like socialising so just went to the spare room. I fell asleep and phone was in silent woke up at 8pm. Called the w and got so much abuse off her and then I retaliated and ended up in a full blown argument.

The following day sent a text to her and her friend.(friend answers the phone one time and she also got an earful) saying I apologise for my behaviour it was uncalled for. Got a reply from w saying thank you apoology excepted but nothing from the friend.

Moving forward to last night the w sent me a text asking for details of my salary this year (end of our tax year in uk) and also what I have been promised for a mortgage offer. Did ask why and she said she had an appointment this morning. Gave her the details but not all of them. And then she tells me that her app is with her lawyer.

I said I thought that we were close to working out the finances and she replied we are big I need to check some other stuff out.

This puts me in a right panic thinking that she is going to start asking for more money and larger % from the house. Didn't sleep well and then was in tender hooks all day.

W finally texts me about the kids as j have them tonight and tomorrow night at the house. Drop in a question saying are we still working with what we weee we serremnt prior to your meeting and she confirms we are.

So either her layer is thinking what she is asking for is a good package or she is going to blindside me in mediation next month. Either way there is nothing I can do about it so decide that I just need to stop worrying about things. Things will b alright. If o don't like what she is asking for or she won't budge with my counter offer then I will hand it over to the lawyers to deal with.

She did sag that the children sodemof it will be pretty quick so sounds like I am going to get my 2 nights a week and every other weekend.

Saw my doctor today (who is also divorced) he has been giving me a lot of good advice as well as some anti anxiety meds which also help with sleep. These have been a god send no more waking up at night and not being able to get back to sleep.

Anyway so that's my few days. Trying hard to detach from the w not really having any conversations with her except for children. Daughter doesn't seem to really grasp what we told her on the weekend. Although we didn't really tell her much just that daddy and mummy love her and when we made her we liv d each other lots but now we just feel we are better being friends. Not sure a 5yr old gets that I'm sure once we start selling the house and she she's where she will be living it will be another issue to deal with but she seems happy in her self and she was glad to see me. And the little one would stop saying dadda dadda when I walked in so a happy end to a pretty miserable few days.