Met her for lunch today. Had decent conversation. Asked specifically at one point about counseling together. She said "maybe". She has a lot of revisionist history going on but she is getting more comfortable around me. Problem I'm running into is that the work apartment is about the be hers alone. Means she will be 2 hours away from me. I offered to bring the cats down to visit her since she said that she is sad she isn't going to be able to see them once she's down there everyday. She said that I couldn't handle the driving, I told her not to underestimate me.
She reiterated that she sees the changes I'm making and hopes they are for me and not for her. I told her I do what I want to for myself and I feel as strong as I ever have. During a moment of weakness we were both crying and I asked if she was filing papers anytime soon and she said as long as things stay positive she doesn't have any plans for it right away. She still believes that she is right for leaving because of things I've done. The book she was reading she didn't really agree with as much as I had hoped but she isn't done yet.
It came up that she would like if I called her once in a while. I said I didn't want to interrupt her space and she reiterated that every couple of days it's ok. She is stubborn, always has been , and needs to work through some issues of her own. I just am hoping that I can find enough opportunities to show her that her current perception of me is wrong. Actions actions actions. I have already surprised her, gotten her wall down a bit. Doesn't matter until she does more work on herself. She blames me for giving up her hobbies. I don't agree but it doesn't matter who's to blame, she gave them up and currently has to find herself again.
Counselor isn't sure I'll be able to get on meds for depression with the progress I made. Dunno if that's really a good thing or not? I feel stronger than ever, stronger everyday. But I don't detach much. She will be alone in the work apartment come Friday, the other person is moving out and she will be there full time. I think the conversation on the phone will be important and I hope to have some kind of window over the 2 weeks following that to get her to want counseling together.
Baby steps from today: "Maybe" counseling She acknowledged my progress She wants to talk on phone Her wall is slowly coming down She was able to take what she needed without me having to tell her to stop.
Together 7 years Married 3 Said she was taking long way home late January Left to get some space 2/19/17 BD 3/1/17 ILYB
