I havent gotten my hand on the DR book yet but am getting it...I need to know if its time for me to detach and leave for a while. I have shown in the last two weeks significant improvement. I have not done any of the things that he first complained about- I let him go out for the first time without a single text or worry of where he was at or when he was going to be home. he didn't even acknowledge what a huge stride that was for me. I want to save this marriage and feel like staying somewhere else and asking for no contact will help him S**t or get off the pot on his feelings for our marriage.
Try not to base your changes on his noticing them or not... The thing is, they are for you and not him. Just make sure to change for your own self and not anyone else - because if you do it for someone else it never works in the first place and will only lead to resentment.
As far as detaching, its for your sanity. Not for him...for you to work on yourself.
And, as far as pushing him to notice/change his feelings about the marriage...there is nothing you can do. Remember the butterfly analogy?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
