Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

[Briget]

Betsy,
In fact my being independent is the biggest 180 for me.

I have been very scared to try things.I lived my life in fear of everything under the sun.

In October it will be two years since I had my historectomy.I was so scared to have the surgery I let some heavy bleeding go on for 10 months.I still wouldn't have the surgery even thought my I was so anemic I needed to have a tranfushion.I was so scared of that I even refused that.What I'm saying is I was choosing to die rather than deal with what I feared.My iron count got to 22.When I finally agreed to have the surgery we lived in mississipi.The day I was sceduled to have the surgery they cancelled all surgerys except emmergacy surgerys and mine because a tropical storm was coming. But what came out of that was me.I now have very few fears and I will never be ruled by them. Ilearned that what I feared wasn't as bad as I thought it was.So now if I'm afraid of something I'm more likely to try it just forthe hell of it.

I aways say the woman who went into that operatating room is not the same one who came out.But my husband can't see it and won't.He says he see the changes but he will not come back and takes great joy in being free from me.

So this new found independace is not going away.

He says the things in the house remind him of the bad marriage we had.I can't fight that.And I no longer want to.I quit.If he wants out he's got it.I'm going to save myself and lose him.and it is a fair trade.
Later Friend
Briget