Brubeck.......I have been reading along on your sitch and today after reading what you put I thought I would say thank you for sharing your thoughts. This is what you said that really made me think:
Anger and fear motivated a lot of my behavior and it's something I needed (and still need) to change. I know I can justify the anger and fear within me by looking at the sitch she's created, but I know it's not healthy for me, and it doesn't feel healthy. I know this corner of my heart that's been turned to stone by her BD and subsequent behavior is not good for me.
This made me look at how I have been behaving in regard to my anger. It is something that can consume me quite easily. I am really trying to learn to let it go.....some days are better then others.
