Eyes on the next curve

[Bird]

Here I am on my next thread. I don't think I'm going to do this right, but here's an attempt to link to my last thread:

MLC? Maybe you can tell me...

25years, I really want to thank you for reading my story and taking the time to give me such wonderful feedback. I've seen you post on a couple of other threads so I was downright giddy when you visited mine, as you seem to have a lot of experience and wisdom to impart. So thank you.

You're right about the term MLC and why I need to hang on to that. It's so much easier to blame depression and crisis for a sudden change in a spouse than it is to believe that they just decided one day that you weren't good enough to make them happy anymore. When I'm feeling down on myself the devil on my shoulder tries to get me to believe it, but most of the time I believe there's something more to this. But you're also right in that the end result is the same and the action that I should be taking is the same. So I'm going to concentrate on where I am now, not get bogged down in what caused it.

I can't remember which thread I read it on - it may have been the Jack 3 Beans thread, but I'm trying to use my anger as my shield and not my sword. What I'm going through because of him is so painful, and I'm so angry with the way that he's behaving. But I'm going to be the best me that I can be, because you're right - what's the alternative? I'm either going to be awesome and he's going to realize he was crazy to let me go, or I'm going to be so awesome that I'll be ready to find someone who deserves me. I'm just trying to fill my brain with the positive thoughts enough that there just isn't any room for the negative.

I've spent a lot of time really clearing my head and looking at our separation agreement from a practical standpoint. I think I know what I want to do now and how to approach him in our meeting. I think I can get what I need without totally screwing him, and with that I will be able to sleep at night. I do feel bad because I know that this is going to financially strap him and I don't think it will be as fantastic being divorced as he thinks it will be. I pray for him because I do love him and I hate to see him to do this to himself. But I think for now, we have separate paths to walk. I'm going to concentrate on selling our house, finding somewhere new for the girls and I, and really putting my energy into that. I'm going to let God work on my love life while I'm doing the other stuff. LOL.

Leaving tomorrow for a week on the Florida gulf coast with my girls. After a NY winter, I'm pretty excited to get warm in the sunshine and see my parents. I hope you all have a blessed week... I'm so thankful to have found this board.