A WW? (7)

[DonH]

It is just so hard to figure out he true dynamic of what may be going on. If I were to expierence it first hand I'm near certain I coukd be of more help. But I'm not so all I can do is offer what I see as possibilities.

It seems like there has been a long run of you not listening to your wife. Would you agree with that? You havevbrought that up,a lot where W claims to have told you something but you forgot or you said you'd do something but later forgot. That seems to be an area to work on

That said I have to wonder if your only chance here is to completely disengage. Don't try to do ANYTHING "nice" for her as she will only complain about it. That little interaction of throwing away something she left on the floor screams of this. I know it's really hard to go dark while in the same house but it seems clear W is very irritated if you try - try anything or even believe that this can be fixed. I have to wonder if you dropped all interaction if she would not come to you. Stop chasing the dog - to quote from the DR book.

I would not let her get way with this crap with D. I've brought that up in the past. W is clearly trying to use D to substantiate HER issues. She says how D does not want to spend time with you when it's really W that does not. Keep doing what you are doing with D. If W wants to be on the outside while you and D do things, so be it. She will soon see this has backfired on her

The best you can do from what I can see is to drop the rope and let W be. Don't ask her to do things, don't try to help her, don't just don't engage. If you can do this I have to bet you will see some change in your W. Whatever you want, she wants the opposite - therefore if you want to be far away from her and do nothing with her, what is W likely to want then - yep, The opposite. I think it's worth a try.