Count on ups and downs (III)

[HaWho]

Hi WillDo - saw your post on my thread regarding finances and decided to come over here to discuss. This way, you can track it on your own thread!

In my sitch, we both contribute to the same account. Last year about this time, I started squirreling away some of my own money for the first time since we were married. I have personally believed that in marriage you share everything: in good times and in bad. However, last spring my h went further into the rabbit hole and I was seriously scared I'd wake up to empty bank accounts and two hungry boys.

He figured it out and got really mad. I told him it was all I had in the world and protected me if he ever followed through on ditching us all. He made lots of PA comments but in general it blew over.

However, he had also started spending just before this. I had been watching the accounts but in general he was doing ok. Until he went and spent quite a bit in 1 week. I called him out; he got really mad. He told me it was his time and he deserved it (all a phase they go through in MLC). He told me to butt out of his business/stop looking at the accounts!! He said he would start saving in 6 months as he just needed a fun summer (LOVE how his "summer" was 6 months long!!!).

Anyway, I adhere to a very strict budget and he seems to have tamped down his spending. He used to be very generous but in MLC he is cheap and greedy. Total opposite of who he was.

So, as for you? What % of the total household income is your wife squirreling away? How did finances work before MLC? Is there a large disparity between your incomes? Does she withdraw on your joint account for all household things and then save all her own money? Is she using part of your joint income on OP/to be with OP?

Please provide some details.