I am thinking deeply about suffering and whether suffering is from Karma. Is karma going to strike the wayward and abuser?
Why don't the waywards suffer yet the LBS certainly does. Is this unfair? Is this some great cosmic joke.
Why do I have complex PTSD when the Giggalo lives in apparent peace in Italy with a Bratislava Italian Tramp trying to take my life's work away.
Why do I work extremely hard and long hours?
Why do many here struggle to fight for their lives and to be great mothers and fathers with responsibility and love. The wayward appears happy and deep in mud.
I question this. I question my higher power and why it seems to have abandoned me. I am in pain and suffering, it feels selfish.
It is the ego the false self which brings on Karma. After all karma is action arising from selfishness. Am I failing to heal because of selfishNess?
Rationalising and dissonance make this really hard. Religion may not hold the key in this.
It is easy to understand why those with no empathy and a wayward mask can be cold empaths. Studied as predators and emotional disabled. To know that Karma may not appear to bite as the universal psychological law set out by Buddha treats those in subtle ways.The conclusion I came to is that the waywardness and the abusive stance are already Karma biting. Imagine living in lies with a false self, living with a mask. Imagine hiding multiple compulsions including the vast empty need for self. Imagine being that selfish. Imagine having to live as a lie.
That is already Karma kicking in.
The damage done to the LBS is healthy and normal, it is part of a recovery cycle providing the grief is expressed. This process is there as part of an awakening. Part of the path to love and higher spirit. I comfort myself that this loose community of empaths and healers leads to the light. To live a life free of Karma.
Maybe my higher power hasn't left altogether?
These are complex questions and I am sad.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
