Quote: HE must be the one to make a choice. Either way will require a fight for him. Either way will help him come to terms with his masculinity issue. He will have to fight feelings of worthlessness, failure and disappointment if he chooses to divorce me. If he fights for me, he will have to work very hard at pulling himself back together again.
What you said.
Wild at Heart was a huge wake up call for me, too. PIB, you might look at your church's library. I know our church had a study for men with that book.
How I would love to be rescued. Problem is, I don't think my H thinks I need rescuing, when in fact, my heart aches... how I want him to rescue me... But, for my kids, for me, I will continue to be strong and hope that the Lord gives him the strength and courage to do the right thing... would buying him a white horse and a sword be considered controlling???
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
But, for my kids, for me, I will continue to be strong and hope that the Lord gives him the strength and courage to do the right thing... would buying him a white horse and a sword be considered controlling???
Probably. what's sad about me is, this is making me bitter again. Self-preservation is what I call it, building walls around my heart, trying to feel and look tough. When really, at a blink of an eye I can fall apart...
OH MY! I take a few days off from the BB to tend to "life" and you all are 7 pages into Friends. Well. See what happens? Thanks for the character update 'cause I was getting a bit lost.
Quote: And I AM a winner!
OK, let me say, Betsey, that I initially burst out laughing at this because I thought: "Well, of course! No kidding! You are the champion, never mind the winner."
I know you weren't being funny.
But I can't imagine anyone on this BB doesn't know you are a winner. Do you know it, girl? I mean, really in your heart KNOW IT? Cause it's the truth. You are just amazing in your commitment, your insight, your willingness to really get into the depths of this sitch and work for your M. And be a capital M mom at the same time. I, for one, admire that. I am going to throw out a wild guess that Mr. W admires you too. And that might create some complications for him.
I am fascinated by the idea of men only offering strength. I have been the strong one in my M. Took a lot for me to see that. But you know, I kind of like my strength and I'm not so willing to let that go. And I might guess that you like yours too?
It's a delicate balance.
You know Mr. W better than the rest of us. You know what's going to be the right decision for you. You clearly know how to DB for your M. Certainly we're supporting you.
Pam and Mer, I have to say I am new to your sitches, can't fake as if I know what's going on. But you both sound like strong and insightful DBers to me. And Pam, if you have Rachel hair, that can't hurt. Right?
Hi Wonder! Nice to meet you. I've been just a squatter on Meredith's old thread since I gave mine up months ago. Oh, I am still DBing my ass off, but I just didn't have it in me to keep up a thread. I have progressed in the last 6 or 7 months from my H being absolutely sure he wanted a D (and him moving out), to almost having a real marriage back. It's happening slowly, but, I have learned that patience is my friend.
I had the good luck to be rescued by Betsey and Meredith early on. Without them, I surely would have sealed my own fate as a divorced mom. Betsey, the Pied Piper of the BB, picked me up on her happy journey. I'd follow that woman anywhere, I think. Meredith also.
Among Betsey's good qualities is that she sees the best in everyone. So, for those of you that believed it.... Not only do I not have Rachel hair, I don't have Rachel anything!
Betsey, I hope your MC last night went extraordinarily well!! Like others here on the board, I am wondering if doing major 180's and showing your H that you are moving on would be a first step, before the letter. I wrote to you about this before. I know you said it would upset your D, but maybe you could make her an accomplice? You know, not being home, not answering the phone, going "out."
Sometimes, they just don't believe our words.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Any way you could convince Merrick to go to Virginia Beach with us? I think it would do him some good to get R&R away from Crazy Making W.
Hope things are going well for you. How was your trip? I wonder how many posts you'll get today? LOL I have to work at keeping up with you fish in this thread.
Cabana
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts,that laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death
Briget, I just now saw your post and unfortunately I have to get off to work. I will try to get back to you later today. Fortunately, you are in good hands here. Hopefully Bets or Meredith (or a ton of othere people) can step in on this one. Someone? Anyone?
Welcome Back Betsey. Hope you had a great weekend!
