W- D12 has always been very attached to H. She is his "mini me" whereas D10 is my "mini me" both in looks and personality. I've struggled with my relationship with D12 because our personalities are like oil and water and because I shouldered a lot of the burden of her difficulties and am the disciplinarian. She gravitates to him because he isn't the one nagging her about homework, bedtime, etc. Has she taken sides with him? Maybe. I thought about asking her if she blames me, but she may be too young yet to even process what that means.
I hope you never ask her that. If she lashes out at you, which she probably will, it's b/c she does not want to be the reason he left. She wants to think it's YOU, b/c she is terrified it's her.
I'm trying to keep the structure at home the same as before he left - still on her case to pick up after herself and do her homework. I think she might think she should get a pass, as she certainly does with him as he no longer feels the need to parent in that respect. So yeah, maybe.
I'd let him parent DURING the week and when stressful things are due, as much as possible. Let YOU be more of the "fun" parent.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
