Leaving it up to God (I think!)

[HaWho]

Coly - sorry for the rough spell. That quote Job gave you is a really good one. I am further along in this mess and yet it still resonates with me.

Your h is not capable of having a healthy adult relationship right now. He can't even figure himself out so how can he possibly meet someone else's needs?

If I may offer some advice, I would recommend that you focus on the feelings that surface as you anticipate if he is going to call/come visit. What are those feelings about? What is the root of all that anxiety? Why do his comings and goings/calls impact you the way they do?

I might advise you to try other things to see how you can alleviate this anxiety. In all honesty, this seems like it is tumultuous for you and for your d? Perhaps instead of meeting him at your home, you suggest you meet him for a walk or for a quick coffee? And then try not to involve your d in all this? Or maybe you give yourself a break and say you can't meet this week? Then you can see how that feels?

We can't control/fix others but we need to look at why we react the way we do. This may include turning your focus into why you put yourself through all this anxiety. What are you getting out of these interactions/visits?

Keep posting as we are all here to support you.