I've been circling around the same issues, for awhile now.
One of the things I've been pondering...
Has my husband purposely been vauge about his NOT cheating on me because he feels that as a 'real man' he should have been? And is shamed that he's not out conquering women?
One of the reasons I ponder this...
When we began dating, during our separation, he invited me back to his house.
I let slip that I had a fantasy that he was living in absolute filth. That the house was a God-awful mess. And that this idea soothed my wounded heart. (Wince...I know..bad DBing moment.)
In any case, he quickly retracted his invitation.
NOW I know that he was living in such filth.
When I asked him about it recently, he said that I reminded him how bad it really was and he didn't want me to see it.
Between us DBers...I think he didn't want to affirm my fantasy either. EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD BRING ME COMFORT.
I hope this is making sense. The point I'm trying to make is that he's known that him not cheating on me would be a huge comfort for me. But he didn't tell me. And the only reason I can imagine that he wouldn't tell me (until recently) was that he felt emasculated by the fact that he wasn't cheating on me.
Which if that's the case...is irrational.
Sigh.
I'm going to go see if I can get that book through my library.
