WAW and the Big D

[Bdog37]

Journaling/venting

It has been a week since I last vented on here and oh my how much can happen in a week. My STBEW has made it very difficult for me to keep my cool. I am trying to take the high road, for the kids sake, but last night was my breaking point. I am done playing the victim and being blamed for her A. Apart from very serious physical and emotional abuse, I can never see a good reason for a S to cheat. It is the single most worst thing you can do to someone you loved and last night I let her know that.

Her insults barely fazed me last night. Crazy how in a week I have gone from being hurt by what she says to now totally not having a single f*** to give. She is trying to blame me for her actions and its just wrong. Once again, she brought up my neglectfulness towards her and the kids during our M. I responded with that is still not deserving to be cheated on by the one you love. I'm no longer going to be responsible for her actions.

I am so done with her its not even funny. There are women out there that will treat me the way I deserve to be treated and never do what she has done. My only regret is that I didn't have the b**** to D her when I found out about the A. This woman has turned into such a monster that I no longer feel any love for her whatsoever. The unfortunate part in all this is that I will have to deal with her for the rest of my life because of the children. No matter how much I hate who she has become, I still know they need her and I will never take that away from them. The really sad part is that her actions/words have indicated to me that she desires her freedom more than being even being a mother. The kids do not deserve that, but luckily they will always have me.

I also have a meeting with my L today and I know I hired the right guy. He is going to really squeeze her in court in regards to all the credit card issues. I have confidence that the judge is going to see I'm in the right and I won't have to pay for what she is seeking. If there is any justice in the world then I won't have to, but you never know. I have been very civil with this W, but after what she said last night I believe this is going to turn ugly. Oh well, it is what it is. There is still one issue that I am hoping to receive good news from him later today.....wish me luck!